There’s nothing different about my journey than anyone else’s; when you have a passion, a gift, something you wake up everyday and know, deep down, you’re supposed to do this thing, you never stop. It’s a lifetime of learning, polishing, getting pissed, taking breaks, succeeding, and starting it all over again. I’m realizing there is not just one day you wake up and are suddenly “great.” That’s not how it works, and that’s not how it works for the famous people either. They struggle, they succeed, they get highlighted in the media off and on, and we onlookers have no clue what they are actually experiencing.
So today I’m feeling like god, I’m 30, I’ve been at this music thing for 25 of those 30 years, and I’m still such a beginner. I’m still so far away from where I’d like to be, or where I imagined I’d be at this age. It’s taking so long.
But then I think, why would I want it any other way? What would I rather spend my time doing, than working on my passion, practicing new techniques, trying and innovating, learning and discovering? As long as I get to do music, I’m in, and I’m in for life. I want to do this every single day until I’m dead. (and hopefully after….depending on what that’s like).
With that frame shift, it’s not so long anymore. It’s today, and it’s bliss, and then it’s tomorrow, and it’s fun again, and then it’s the rest of my life. The only thing that’s taking so long is me reaching an arbitrary goal, an arbitrary achievement of being on some particular stage with some particular audience performing some particular piece. Who chose that!?!?!! I chose it based on childhood programming or movies I watched or passing statements made by adults I admired or who knows.
I’d like to re-choose. I’d like to start fresh and choose new criteria for defining my life and musical goals. I’d like to evaluate myself based on how much joy I’m feeling rather than what I can write on my resume. I’d like to know, deep down, that I’m a performer and this is what performer do. They live. They express. They learn and polish and sometimes they get great gigs and sometimes they don’t. They are the same as any other type of person, working toward a vision, hoping to contribute something to the world.
This is my song.
Leave a comment and share what your lifelong performance goal or dream is. Dream big, let it rip, don’t be embarrassed. We all dream crazy things that may or may not happen. Share!